Kink & BDSM as a Magical Practice

You, reader, might be an experienced Kinkster who’s leather collection would astound and fills the essence of your home with it’s rich smell; or you might be someone who’s interests are vanilla - hedonistic, connective, but simple. In any case, if you find yourself here - reading this - it is likely you are someone who feels the knock of the Anima or Animus within our unconscious mind, anxious to be brought to light, fully known, seen, and integrated.

As we develop our sexuality and concept of intimacy, we gain vast insight into the deeper, hidden layers of Self. This process - of drawing from realm unknown and bringing to substance - is a skill which takes practice, discipline, and presence. I believe the ways in which we improvise in collaboration to bring forth something new during all sexual acts is akin to the process of painting on canvas, improvising a piece of music, or writing poetry. It takes us into a creative flow state - where all is potential, and new realities are formed.

I think as an artist, finding this state of being is the actual mastery we reach for - through discipline more so than medium. To get there, we have to let go of things like identifying with our work or attaching ourselves to outcomes; slugging off the ways in which we get in our own way, witnessing those shadow selves and accepting them without being consumed by them. This is why queering our sexuality through experimentation with gender, roles, kink, bdsm, fetish, or otherwise can be so healing - because it requires of us to not only get out of our own way, but we also experience this unmasked and vulnerable space with a loving and participating witness.

I think that we can achieve that flow state even without experimentation or expansion - simply through the act of presence with our bodies and our partners - and I think the more we delve in, the more creative and interesting we might find our sexuality to become. The more we enter that space, the more we expand our capacity for new emotional states, for new experiences - and thus new realities. The more we practice our ego stepping out of the way and integrate our shadow self, the easier it is to come to life with clarity and the will to change your & our collective circumstances. What is magic but using a guiding hand on the constant flow of change?

Something you might ask yourself for this Taurus full moon is, how has my sexuality become habitual? Are there unspoken expectations I’m making of myself? What kinds of things to I struggle to communicate? Can I approach sexuality like a creative practice? What holds me back from sinking in deeply, savoring this experience? What container - trust, agreements, boundaries, familiarity, anonymity - do I need in order to go there?

XO
Fera